This isn’t the post that I intended to submit this week. Usually I write a post a couple of weeks in advance and refine it until it’s time to post. If you are reading this today, apparently I had a moment of courage to post it! A series of events have happened over the past few days that put me in a place that I want to share my experience of the power of connection.

I’ve long believed that what everyone wants in life is to be connected to someone else. Someone that we can be ourselves with and not fear being judged or rejected. Even looking at some of the most popular television shows, from comedies to dramas, from children’s programs to adult’s, they depict a connection between people. We are drawn to this, because we want a connection with someone else.

Image by wolfsoul.

Connecting is something that I have struggled with for so long in my life. In fact, I am so comfortable being alone, that sometimes I have to remind myself to go out and be social.

It is difficult at times for me to remember that there are people around willing to brave my storms with me. I know where this stems from, and the ironic thing is that I can’t heal the source without connecting to others. It is a difficult cycle to be caught up in. Especially since we can be surrounded by people, and still be lonely.

Those that know me can tell you how much I emphasize the importance of connection. I think this is because I know what it is like to not be connected. I have been reminded recently several times how connected I really have the opportunity to be. And I am deeply grateful for that.

I have been reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. There are two quotes from her book that I would like to share. First, she quotes Mary Daly, “Courage is like–it’s a habitus, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.” The second is, “Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today’s world, that’s pretty extraordinary.” Putting our vulnerability on the line, or in other words, being genuine, is a huge risk that takes courage. How do we become courageous? Not by numbing our fear, but by “couraging”.

It takes that kind of vulnerability in order to connect in real ways with others. Anything that requires risk, requires some failure and pain. There will be those in our lives that will turn away our attempts for connection. The rewards are those who accept and connect back. If only there were some way of telling people apart–who will accept us and who will reject us. But then it wouldn’t require courage, which would lessen the value of the rewards.