A guest author on zenhabits.net, Craig Ballantyne, recently posted on his personal rules that he uses in his life. He draws the comparison with vegetarians that live by a strong personal philosophy about not eating meat. Using this, he suggests that each of us develop a philosophy or rules that we hold to in our day to day interactions. He suggests that having a strong personal philosophy may not make tough decisions any easier, but it does reduce the guilt after having made them if we’ve stuck to our philosophy.

Image by Arwenaa

One of his personal rules is:

“I do not engage in confrontations with anyone, in-person or online. This is a waste of time and energy. If I have caused harm, I apologize and fix the situation. However, if someone simply doesn’t like something I have done or something that I do or disagrees with me, that is fine, but I’m not going to get into an argument about it. For any confrontation-like situation, I simply take a deep breath, relax, breathe out, and re-focus my efforts back on my work and goals.”

When I first read this post, I decided that this year I would develop a philosophy that I would practice throughout the year. I understand the value of doing this since 18 months ago, I decided that I would no longer eat mammals (yes I know that sounds weird, but I have my reasons!). Even though there have been a couple of times that I wondered if I should eat hamburger, keeping to that rule worked out and people respect it.

So far, my first rule that I am working on is unconditional acceptance. This has been a challenge to me with people whose beliefs I feel hurt others. Rather than getting angry, I am accepting that they are doing the best they can. I’m not sure what the rest of my rules will be, but since I’ve set myself in the direction of developing these, I’ve no doubt that something will develop over time.

12 Rules to Live By