Not even three months into living in New York, I faced an impending storm so scary they called it “Frankenstorm.” Luckily, I live in an area that was only minimally affected. However, I work in lower Manhattan and as a result of power outages and the transportation system not running, I have not been able to get to work for a few days. Instead, I braved the storm alone in my apartment, settled in comfortably on my couch, worked from home, and felt really grateful that I was able to keep myself company. Especially when I didn’t have a choice. However, with ample silence (whenever Netflix wasn’t playing) and a break in my routine, I noticed a few things:
1. I was overwhelmed and grateful that I heard from so many people from home that were concerned from my safety. It was a nice chance to catch up and talk to people during the day on a less hectic schedule. Whether or not I faced imminent danger ( I knew my area was going to be fine), the weather was unpredictable and I just felt better being in touch with loved ones.
2. It feels like I have lived here a lot longer than I actually have been. I was caught off guard by the genuine care and concern I felt over “my” city. Usually it’s something I would only read about on the news, but instead I am in the midst (or outskirts) of it. It was strange and saddening to not hear the whistling sounds of the train from my bedroom window and to see a darkened skyline because of the power outages. I realized that this place was already starting to become my new home. It was bittersweet, but in a sense, a defining moment for me.
3. It’s important to know your neighbors. I had a few moments of anxiety when I realized I was without a flashlight and was alone in my apartment should something happen. I shot out an email to my neighbors (I suppose the old-fashioned way is to knock on their doors) giving them a heads up and many were kind enough to offer supplies and a place to hang out if I needed. I immediately felt more comfortable knowing that I had caring people around me. On that note, I was able to walk around my neighborhood and explore the area– I found a lot of places I had missed before and and felt even more proud of and connected to Bushwick.
4. I had sporadic and intense feelings of homesickness. More than anything I wished my sisters and friends were piled in my living room and keeping company in the special and joyous way that comes out of having an unexpected day “off.”
5. I was ever more conscious of the stream of thoughts that ran through my mind. I am an extroverted person and tend to re-charge my energy through interaction, but also enjoy the quiet to refocus myself and de-stress. At the risk of sounding strange– I found that my thoughts felt more like a running narration or dialogue. I realized part of why I didn’t feel terribly alone (apart from online communication), was that when I said I kept myself company, I meant it. It feels much like writing or reading, when you become absorbed in a task and time stands still.
I thought hard about the post on Your Present Voice and about the different selves we have within. I couldn’t agree more with Laura that they don’t necessarily have to be in competition, but that they may each look a bit differently in various environments. It’s important to pay attention to the one that becomes “dominant” when you’re alone. It can teach you a lot!
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