Clients come in with various presenting issues and things they work on. It could be about a relationship, job stress, parenting, depression, anxiety, or many other relevant issues.  As we work through them,  I realized that one of the underlying stressors of all the aforementioned issues is fear.

It could be fear of vulnerability, of a person leaving them, of not being liked, of not doing things the “right” way, of failure, and of letting themselves down, among other things. If you you skim the surface, you may not recognize this. But if you dig a little deeper, you my strike at the more primal emotion of fear and it could allow you to approach things differently.

I am finding lately that the when I really consider the worst case scenarios for things I am afraid of, it’s quite calming. That may not seem to make sense because it seems like it would increase anxiety– but  I try to take it a level further and consider the steps I’d actually have to take, or what external forces would have to happen for me to actually have to face my worst case scenario.

Because chances are that when in the mindset of fear, those steps spiral down into things beyond my reach and control.  All of a sudden it can seem like a hopeless situation. But when those steps are carefully considered, some logic and reality brings a different light to the situation. It becomes easier to regain control when you realize that while it’s important to have hope and faith, at some point you have to get up and do something if you want it badly enough. Even if that means facing your worst fear. For me, the thought of not knowing what could have happened pushes me to keep  me moving.

If you’re not scared to climb to the top, you’re rewarded with an incredible view.

I’m in a transitional point of my life where I face a lot of uncertainty due to the array of options before me.  This allows plenty of opportunity to live out and decide if I want something more than I am afraid of it. Whenever I get stuck, I think back to other fears that I have overcome with courage and recognize that the outcome was (almost) always positive. If I had the courage and strength to step out and grow from other situations, then I know that I have the “ingredients” and capability to overcome new ones that come along.

• Take a few minutes and think about something that you’re afraid of, or a fear that’s holding you back from doing what you want
• Think about the worst case scenario surrounding letting go of your fear
• Consider what steps would have to happen to lead to your worse case scenario
• What steps do you have control over? What do you not have control over? 
• Realistically, how likely are these steps going to occur? Breathe in and let go of all that you can’t control. 
• If you do reach your worst case scenario, what’s going to happen? 
• Whatever happens, was it worth going after what you wanted?
• Think to a time you faced your fear– what was the outcome?