Recently I read a blog post by Derek Sivers which touches on a topic that I run into quite a bit in working with clients and in my own life. It is believing that there are only two choices available when faced with a decision. I have found it dangerous to see decisions this way because generally, neither option is pleasant. It leaves you feeling trapped and miserable. Even selecting the lesser of the two evils can leave you feeling a grudge toward life.

The phrase that I have used when I’ve found myself (or others) with only “two” options is, “there is always a third option.”

Image by maxpate

The problem is, this third option likes to hide. If it were easy to find, we wouldn’t default to believing there are only two options. I have found for myself, and those that I work with, that accepting the phrase opens up my mind to an inward search. Sometimes the answer isn’t quick to make an appearance, but after some time, other options will be found.

Sivers suggests brainstorming every possible solution from the ridiculous to the hybrids of the two original options. I think an additional step may help as well. Although I believe in living in the moment, this may also be a good time to take a step back and look at the overall picture. I think the Cheshire cat frames it best:

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don’t know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn’t matter.”

While it’s important not to get lost in the bigger picture, it is helpful to remind ourselves where we are going, and make sure whichever of the options we go with, takes us in the direction we want to go.