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As some of you know, I coordinate high-adventure camps for military families.  The families that come to these particular camps are comprised of only the service member parent and the teenage children of the family.  At each camp, I facilitate nightly discussions around a campfire with the families over topics, such as their familial relationships, communication, roles, and living in a military context.  These group discussions often get deep and bring out heavier emotions.

I was at camp this past week having a rockin’-good time with my military families.  One night I directed a question to the parents asking, “As a parent, do you think it is okay to show vulnerability to your kids?  Is there any value is showing vulnerability?”  I only heard from a few parents but the general consensus was that it is okay to show vulnerability to your kids, but there is a time and place for it because sometimes you have to be strong so you can be there to support your kids.  I also asked the parents if they equate vulnerability to weakness.  Several of them said yes.

In my own head I was thinking of showing vulnerability as a valuable asset in relationships.  I was thinking of vulnerability as a tool for getting to know the real person and connecting with someone on a deeper, more authentic level.

Something I learned from this interaction with the families is that it may be important to define “vulnerability” when asking this question.  I think I might have had a different definition in my head than some of the parents.  With this group in particular, the military context played a huge role in how they answered this question.  Basically, they said that vulnerability in the military will get you killed and that it feels almost impossible to go from that mindset and context to the context of home with their families where vulnerability might be helpful at times.

I am curious how you would answer this question.  So, for those of you who are actually reading this post right now, I ask you to please offer up your honest thoughts.  Is it okay to show vulnerability?  Is there any value in showing vulnerability to others?  And in answering these two questions, how are you defining vulnerability?

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