an open letter to anyone who tells me not to be sad,<\/p>\n
first of all, thank you. most people who say this have a positive intention. they don\u2019t like to see loved ones in pain and their words are meant to be comforting. i know the feeling all too well.<\/p>\n
but what i really want you to know is that sometimes the best thing you can do to help me is give me space to be sad. more often than not, i am not only squashing my own inclination to feel my sadness, but also from sharing with you that i\u2019m feeling this way.<\/p>\n
therefore, when i finally give myself permission to do either, i am actually taking a great leap into vulnerability, into exposing a raw nerve that offers up a chance for more hurt. it takes a lot for me to get to this place, and i\u2019m sure you can see why.<\/p>\n
so when you tell me not to be sad, deep down i know you mean well. but in the moment what i\u2019m really hearing is this: you\u2019re not allowed to be sad. be strong. only show your happiness. i can\u2019t handle your emotions, this isn\u2019t the time. i\u2019m uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
and so i shut down. i wipe away my tears and as quickly as i showed my feelings, i hide them. they are tucked away with the stresses of the day, the pangs of grief, the mines of loneliness, and even lost beautiful memories. they pile up and pile up.<\/p>\n
one day it will all crash down, because you can only \u201cnot be sad\u201d for so long.<\/p>\n
personally, i\u2019d rather feel a little or a lot sad here and there rather than have it hit me all at once. and so, my friend, when i\u2019m sad, i ask you to just sit with me. sometimes your company and silent empathy means more to me than the \u201cperfect words\u201d or advice. i promise that if i just sit in these feelings instead of running from them, i will feel better much more quickly.<\/p>\n
thank you,<\/p>\n
fatimah<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
an open letter to anyone who tells me not to be sad, first of all, thank you. most people who say this have a positive intention. they don\u2019t like to see loved ones in pain and their words are meant to be comforting. i know the feeling all too well. but what i really want you to know is that Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2755,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[28,216],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-2754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotions-2","tag-emotions","tag-sad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/1373729_vintage_envelope_2.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2754"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2754\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2758,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2754\/revisions\/2758"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2754"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=2754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}