{"id":165,"date":"2012-04-09T16:20:21","date_gmt":"2012-04-09T16:20:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=165"},"modified":"2012-04-09T16:21:25","modified_gmt":"2012-04-09T16:21:25","slug":"a-therapist-in-public","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=165","title":{"rendered":"A Therapist in Public"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week, I attended an event downtown. One of my friends had a previous teacher reading at a book shop, and she invited me to tag along. Though I felt excited to do something out of the ordinary, it also felt like just a usual evening out with friends \u2013 I thought nothing of it. We grabbed some seats and settled in. It was energetic and fun, and I applauded enthusiastically after she had finished.<\/p>\n

Out of the blue, I heard a voice. \u00a0Suddenly, my heart stopped. I felt my stomach drop, and I felt nervous to move. \u00a0I could feel my blood pumping with the feeling of being caught with my guard down. Nobody else was bothered. To anyone else, the voice was neutral \u2013 maybe a stranger, maybe an acquaintance, or an old friend.<\/p>\n

But to me, it was a previous client.<\/p>\n

As a therapist, seeing a client \u2013 current or former \u2013 is a mixed experience. Deep inside, I am thrilled to see them. In a way, they are my friend, someone on my team. I\u2019d root for them anywhere, anytime. But on the surface, I am terrified at the risk catching them off guard.<\/p>\n

What if she was relaxed and now I\u2019m on her turf making her feel uncomfortable? Since I can’t say hello first, what if he thinks I am ignoring him?\u00a0What if she is with someone who she would rather not want to see me?\u00a0What if he is exhausted at the end of his day and I am the reminder of a tough conversation?<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, my first thought is often \u201cWhat am I wearing and was I just acting ridiculous?\u201d I like to be goofy with my friends (weird voices of SNL characters included). This is a side of me that no client has seen. \u00a0And my gut reaction is asking, why didn\u2019t you dress more professional?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My ethical code says that I cannot acknowledge a client in public unless he or she acknowledges me first. Doing so would break confidentiality. I usually talk about the chance of this happening with clients in the first few sessions. I buy groceries. I take my cat to the vet. I grab drinks with friends. There is a chance we will bump into each other. But sometimes I forget. Or sometimes they forget. Either way, I take a deep breath and try to keep my own cool unless they speak up.<\/p>\n

On this particular evening though, the anxiety quickly passes. I soon realize what an amazing opportunity this is. I get to see a client who is about to rock the stage up there, bearing a part of the inner self, in public. I get to see a person who I am proud to know, with every fiber of my being.<\/p>\n

For the most part, I love my job. Yeah, we talk about tough things, but we talk about real things. I get to witness a person\u2019s authentic side. I get to see the real, nitty gritty stuff.\u00a0 I am a bystander for the good and the bad, seeing the human side. And the best part is that they all help me see my own human side \u2013 my own faults and shortcomings that I need to forgive myself for.<\/p>\n

At the grocery store, I\u2019m okay if you rush over to give me a hug. In the middle of PetSmart, I\u2019m\u00a0 okay if you give me a quick, awkward smile. And I\u2019m okay being ignored.<\/p>\n

I am what you need me to be. And I\u2019m thankful that I was able to be part of the journey for a while.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week, I attended an event downtown. One of my friends had a previous teacher reading at a book shop, and she invited me to tag along. Though I felt excited to do something out of the ordinary, it also felt like just a usual evening out with friends \u2013 I thought nothing of it. We grabbed some seats and Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[29,31,30],"coauthors":[17],"class_list":["post-165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-miscellaneous","tag-journey","tag-public","tag-relationship-with-client"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/dance1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=165"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":232,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions\/232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=165"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}