{"id":1301,"date":"2012-07-03T10:12:16","date_gmt":"2012-07-03T15:12:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=1301"},"modified":"2012-07-03T10:12:16","modified_gmt":"2012-07-03T15:12:16","slug":"a-therapists-myth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=1301","title":{"rendered":"A Therapist’s Myth"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cNot all those who wander are lost.\u201d \u2013J. R. R. Tolkien,
\n<\/strong>The Fellowship of the Ring<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As a beginning student in a clinical program, I often felt terrified that my clients would see that I was not perfect. At the time, I had just started a new chapter of my life: (a) just moved to a new state; (b) struggling to keep up with coursework, clinical hours, assistantship duties, and thesis research; (c) recently engaged and in the fifth year of a long-distance relationship that experienced more than its fair share of ups and downs; (d) just adopted my first pet and felt the weight of being responsible for a life other than my own for the first time; and (e) in the process of making brand new friends because, let\u2019s face it, I knew no one in this town.<\/p>\n

All in all, I did not have my stuff together.<\/p>\n

I felt mortified that my clients would see this in me. Were they not were coming to me for wisdom, insight, and advice? This fact, alone, dictated that I know what I\u2019m doing with my own life\u2026 didn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

One by one, as I helped clients work through their own pain, I began to work through my own. While a client explored her own low feelings of self-worth, I began to challenge the thoughts that prevented my own self-confidence. As I listened to a client discuss the shame of having an affair, I worked through my own shame and self-deprecation. And when I was lucky enough to go to that deep dark place that a client had never let anyone into before, I was finally able to share my own fears and insecurities with those closest to me.<\/p>\n

This experience taught me that therapists and clients are on a journey together. Even though my education and training have prepared me to share my knowledge of relationships with clients, I still have moments when I make the wrong decision. I remember the first time a couple commented to my husband that we must not have any problems. He quickly responded, \u201cNo, we just know what to call it when we do something wrong.\u201d
\n\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

These experiences, and the steps I use to come back from them, add to my toolbox as a therapist. The tools that have become so valuable in my own life have also proven to be helpful with clients. Now that I\u2019m married, with a mortgage, and attempting to balance work, school, and family, I recognize that my personal struggles allow me to access a place of understanding and empathy towards my clients.
\n<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

In The Gift of Therapy, <\/em>Irvin D. Yalom writes \u201cEveryone\u2014and that includes therapists as well as patients\u2014is destined to experience not only the exhilaration of life, but also its inevitable darkness\u2026\u201d In other words, a therapist with no problems is a mythic creature, and one that I had to learn to stop trying to be. Without those experiences, I wouldn\u2019t have the understanding of relationships that I do now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cNot all those who wander are lost.\u201d \u2013J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring As a beginning student in a clinical program, I often felt terrified that my clients would see that I was not perfect. At the time, I had just started a new chapter of my life: (a) just moved to a new state; (b) struggling Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":1338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"coauthors":[17],"class_list":["post-1301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/IMG_20120703_110350.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1301"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1342,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301\/revisions\/1342"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1301"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=1301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}