{"id":1058,"date":"2012-06-20T11:42:08","date_gmt":"2012-06-20T16:42:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=1058"},"modified":"2012-06-20T11:59:58","modified_gmt":"2012-06-20T16:59:58","slug":"beauty-within-the-quiet-struggle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/?p=1058","title":{"rendered":"Beauty Within the Quiet Struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I recently read some advice by a blog I frequent,\u00a0Smart Pretty and Awkward<\/a>. The author Molly Ford suggested \u201cyou may never know what issues others are facing, and many people struggle with body image distortions. By keeping your own comments about your body positive, you are both reminding and reinforcing to yourself what a beautiful person you are and serving as a role model to those who may be silently struggling to see their own beauty.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0What struck me the most was the truth that rang so clearly with the words \u201csilently struggling.\u201d Because for most, the struggle to see their own beauty is not just a passing phase in adolescence. The battle to feel good about one\u2019s self and body is intertwined, and something that affects young and old and male an female.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Rather, that adolescent we once were is still part of who we are, but in a different form. We learn to hide our insecurities, perfect our image through pictures on Facebook, make-up, clothing, and fake confidence. Meanwhile, we silently compare ourselves to others, often putting those that appear more successful, pretty, or intelligent on a high pedestal– Without considering the work that goes on behind the scenes, or what’s truly underneath the person you imagine them to be. From experience, this act pushed me to think self-degrading thoughts telling me that who I am was not good enough.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I found it\u2019s easier to believe the negative messages I heard and harder to trust the positive ones. This was my own \u201csilent struggle.\u201d When handed criticism I took it to heart as the truth; quickly deflecting compliments and unable to just say \u201cthank you.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But there came a time when I realized that I could start to choose what messages to hear and accept. And those messages weren\u2019t just ones that came from others, but the ones I told myself (often, those can be worst than what any one else has to say). No one else was trying as hard as I was to put me down. Instead of putting anyone on a pedestal, I tried to see everyone as standing on an even playing field and that I had as much to offer as they did.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Instead of focusing on my flaws, but only noticing other\u2019s \u201cperfections,\u201d I started to see everyone and myself as is, the good and the bad. \u00a0This lens went beyond body image and became more about self-image. I knew if I wanted to discover who I really was, I would have to face the uncomfortable reality of examining my imperfections along with my strengths. Before I could accept them, I had to acknowledge that those strengths and imperfections existed.\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0As I write this, a part of me hesitates to write\u00a0my own silent struggle down on paper. My own journey to wholly accept myself is one that is on-going and shifts through the years, various friendships, and life experiences. At times I have fallen into depending on others to build my self-worth, and I still stumble. The more I rely on others to feed my\u00a0positive\u00a0image, the more unstable it is, because the foundation is not coming from within.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Smart Pretty and Awkward<\/a>\u00a0inspires me to notice the beauty that is already within as well as the\u00a0beauty in the quiet struggle: we are not alone.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I recently read some advice by a blog I frequent,\u00a0Smart Pretty and Awkward. The author Molly Ford suggested \u201cyou may never know what issues others are facing, and many people struggle with body image distortions. By keeping your own comments about your body positive, you are both reminding and reinforcing to yourself what a beautiful Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":1135,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78],"tags":[110,46,22,109],"coauthors":[18],"class_list":["post-1058","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-2","tag-beauty","tag-self","tag-self-acceptance","tag-struggle"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/silentstruggleci.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1058"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1139,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058\/revisions\/1139"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1058"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/collectiveinquiry.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=1058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}